Nicole had another clinic visit today (10-2-2014). The past few days I have been feeling some anxiety. I thought it was just being home and getting adjusted to being home. This morning as I was getting ready to go to clinic I had a feeling that I should pack an overnight bag. I called James and asked him if I was just paranoid. He said if you feel like you should pack a bag then pack a bag. I was a wreck the entire drive down. Those who know me know that I am a closet crier. I guess that also means I cry in the car. I cried most of the drive to PCH. When I got there and the nurse practitioner followed me into the room I knew something was up. They want to shake things up with how they are treating Nicole and her platelets. They want to stop the Rituxan that was a four week in-clinic infusion and start her on an anti-virus infusion. Her blood draw on Monday showed that the virus she has isn't under control. The anti-virus infusion can cause a lot of damage to the kidneys and her electrolytes. They usually start this with an in-patient care. They did give us the options of doing the infusion at home. I called and visited with James and we felt with her history and how she's been behaving at home that it would be best for her to stay in the hospital to be monitored. The infusion is twice a day. When we know how her kidneys are handling the infusion then she will be able to come home. That could be as early as tomorrow (10-3) or it could be a couple of days . It may sound awful that Nicole needs to stay in-patient for a night or two, but it is a positive thing. This medicine should kill the virus and her platelets should improve.
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| Nicole in clinic |
As I was driving to clinic I was listening to women's conference from April 2014. I listened to the children sing "Teach Me to Walk in the Light". My heart turned to the many children who lives have blessed mine. After the song was done, sister Wixom said: "As women of all ages, we walk in His light. Our journey on the path is personal and well lit with the Savior’s love." (https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/05/general-womens-meeting/keeping-covenants-protects-us-prepares-us-and-empowers-us?lang=eng) Each one of our journeys are different even when we may be experiencing similar situations. How the Savior's light guides us!! It is because He does LOVE us. It is personal because He knows us personally. He wants to teach us individually. We didn't come here to earth for a "group" assignment. We came here to learn of Him for ourselves. But he also He blessed us with help from other people who blessed our lives in so many ways that I can't list them.
Today is an example of being taught from others; James and my children, who are a strength to me, and the staff at primaries. As we entered ICS, we felt so much love there. Nurses stopped to say hi and to see Nicole. I can't express adequately my love for them. Coming home was hard without Nicole. I know she needs to be in the hospital, but it is hard for me to leave her, even with James. However, to come home and someone brought dinner, another brought salad and brownies. Someone else brought us bread. Again, "God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs." (https://www.lds.org/ensign/1974/12/small-acts-of-service?lang=eng)
I was taught individually today to listen and follow through on the promptings the spirit brings. He does notice us! He does know the journey we are on and does light the way.
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| Nicole welcome sign in her room in ICS. |
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| Mom and Nicole in her room. |
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