Monday, November 17, 2014
Tribute to Nicole Kay Peterson
This is the video a dear friend put together for Nicole viewing/funeral.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Victory of the People
This is the 100th post for the "Our Little Nicole" blog; it is also the final post.
This blog has served the purposes that Cathy and I intended for it. It also seems to have served the purposes the Lord intended for it; we feel the time has come, in a manner of speaking, to write the epilogue and end the book.
As I indicated in the post I wrote on Sunday, 10/26, the night before Nicole died, there were things I wrote that night that Cathy and I did not feel right about sharing publicly; the same is true of the following day, and it is also true of some revelation from the Holy Ghost which has come in the week since Nicole's passing. However, there are some things that do need to be shared...
Early in the afternoon on Monday, October 27, we again had a meeting with the ICU, bone marrow, and cardiac doctors. In order to make sure everyone was of the same understanding, the bone marrow doctor gave brief summary of Nicole's prior history, and what had happened and been done over the last couple weeks, and what the current plan (from the previous day) was. The doctors also indicated that from a purely medical perspective, although Nicole was in a situation where the odds were clearly stacked against her (as had been the case in times past), there was still a possibility that she could get through it, assuming the theory regarding what was causing the heart problems (HHV-6) and the respiratory problems (GVHD) was correct, and that they could be successfully treated.
Though the situation remained grim, Nicole was not in a state where her life was in immediate jeopardy.
So, we discussed things with the doctors, and decided to make some changes. Nicole was being weaned from the heart medicine at the same time the steroid was being increased. We (the doctors, and Cathy and I) mutually decided to put Nicole back on the Milrinone to insure that Nicole's heart function was being supported while we waited to see if the steroid increase would have a beneficial effect on her respiratory function (since it could potentially have a negative impact to the heart). This was the plan for at least the next 24 to 48 hours.
A few hours later, Nicole was conscious and we were talking to her. She opened her left eye, but her eyelids were partially stuck together from mucous (for the past eight days we would gently clean her eyelids with a wash-cloth from time to time, but even so, they would still get stuck together), so I moistened my finger and gently cleaned her left eyelids. She then opened her left eyelid about half-way, but her right eye wasn't opened at all. As I suspected, Nicole's right eyelids were completely stuck together, so I gently cleaned them with my finger until she partially opened both her eyes.
It was about 5:25 P.M. Nicole's eyes were half open, wider than I'd seen her open them in the past eight days, and she look around the room, and at us. I was sitting on her bed on her left-hand side. Cathy was on her right-hand side, and her nurse was also on the same side as Cathy, doing something. We asked her if she wanted to watch a movie, but she shook her head. We listed a couple specific movie titles, but she still shook her head, "no." I asked her if she wanted me to sing to her. She shook her head. I asked her if she wanted me to climb into the bed next to her and snuggle with her. She nodded, "yes."
I slid my arms underneath Nicole's body and lifted her a few inches off the bed as I tried to situate myself so that I could lay next to her with my arms around her. As I lifted Nicole off the bed, she reached both of her arms out, like she wanted to give me a hug, or perhaps she was reaching out to someone our mortal eyes could not see...
At that moment, Nicole's heart stopped; she died in my arms, in the twinkling of an eye.
As I wrote in my previous post, I know that God called Nicole home, and I believe she took His outstretched hand as her spirit left her mortal frame. I have no witness from the Spirit at this time, but I believe Nicole was taken into a tender embrace, and the words, "well done thou good and faithful daughter" were whispered into her ear.
I do have a witness from the Spirit that Nicole did all that God required of her; that He is well-pleased with her. I do have a witness from the Spirit that Nicole will be raised with celestial glory in the First Resurrection, when Christ the Lord returns in His glory to rule and reign over this earth. Nicole's days were known to God, and her years were not numbered less. It was finished; her mortal mission was complete, and Nicole went home to Heaven on her own terms, just as she's always done everything.
The name Nicole means "victory of the people." I feel that Cathy was inspired by the Lord to give our daughter this name - it was prophetic. Nicole has touched and blessed the lives of many people, and in turn, many people have blessed Nicole's life. Our family has been blessed by the sacrifice and service rendered to us by so many. We are so grateful to all of you who have prayed earnestly to God in our behalf, and who have been His hands in ministering to our family.
For the last several weeks of Nicole's mortal life, the only movie she wanted to watch was "The Incredibles." It was strange because Nicole loves music, loves the Disney princess movies, like "Tangled" and "Frozen" and "Sofia the First," but there's no singing in "The Incredibles." Cathy figured it out first, and made me puzzle it out on my own. "The Incredibles" is about a family of "supers" - humans with special powers - who work together to meet and overcome the challenges that face their family. It is all about family. The movie is about family. Pre-mortality is about family. Mortality is about family. Eternity is about family. I know that "the family is ordained of God." I know "that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children." (see https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation). In "The Incredibles," the there is also a "super" named "Frozone" who is a friend to the family, always there, always ready to assist his friends, just as our family has been supported through our trials.
This blog has served the purposes that Cathy and I intended for it. It also seems to have served the purposes the Lord intended for it; we feel the time has come, in a manner of speaking, to write the epilogue and end the book.
As I indicated in the post I wrote on Sunday, 10/26, the night before Nicole died, there were things I wrote that night that Cathy and I did not feel right about sharing publicly; the same is true of the following day, and it is also true of some revelation from the Holy Ghost which has come in the week since Nicole's passing. However, there are some things that do need to be shared...
Early in the afternoon on Monday, October 27, we again had a meeting with the ICU, bone marrow, and cardiac doctors. In order to make sure everyone was of the same understanding, the bone marrow doctor gave brief summary of Nicole's prior history, and what had happened and been done over the last couple weeks, and what the current plan (from the previous day) was. The doctors also indicated that from a purely medical perspective, although Nicole was in a situation where the odds were clearly stacked against her (as had been the case in times past), there was still a possibility that she could get through it, assuming the theory regarding what was causing the heart problems (HHV-6) and the respiratory problems (GVHD) was correct, and that they could be successfully treated.
Though the situation remained grim, Nicole was not in a state where her life was in immediate jeopardy.
So, we discussed things with the doctors, and decided to make some changes. Nicole was being weaned from the heart medicine at the same time the steroid was being increased. We (the doctors, and Cathy and I) mutually decided to put Nicole back on the Milrinone to insure that Nicole's heart function was being supported while we waited to see if the steroid increase would have a beneficial effect on her respiratory function (since it could potentially have a negative impact to the heart). This was the plan for at least the next 24 to 48 hours.
A few hours later, Nicole was conscious and we were talking to her. She opened her left eye, but her eyelids were partially stuck together from mucous (for the past eight days we would gently clean her eyelids with a wash-cloth from time to time, but even so, they would still get stuck together), so I moistened my finger and gently cleaned her left eyelids. She then opened her left eyelid about half-way, but her right eye wasn't opened at all. As I suspected, Nicole's right eyelids were completely stuck together, so I gently cleaned them with my finger until she partially opened both her eyes.
It was about 5:25 P.M. Nicole's eyes were half open, wider than I'd seen her open them in the past eight days, and she look around the room, and at us. I was sitting on her bed on her left-hand side. Cathy was on her right-hand side, and her nurse was also on the same side as Cathy, doing something. We asked her if she wanted to watch a movie, but she shook her head. We listed a couple specific movie titles, but she still shook her head, "no." I asked her if she wanted me to sing to her. She shook her head. I asked her if she wanted me to climb into the bed next to her and snuggle with her. She nodded, "yes."
I slid my arms underneath Nicole's body and lifted her a few inches off the bed as I tried to situate myself so that I could lay next to her with my arms around her. As I lifted Nicole off the bed, she reached both of her arms out, like she wanted to give me a hug, or perhaps she was reaching out to someone our mortal eyes could not see...
At that moment, Nicole's heart stopped; she died in my arms, in the twinkling of an eye.
As I wrote in my previous post, I know that God called Nicole home, and I believe she took His outstretched hand as her spirit left her mortal frame. I have no witness from the Spirit at this time, but I believe Nicole was taken into a tender embrace, and the words, "well done thou good and faithful daughter" were whispered into her ear.
I do have a witness from the Spirit that Nicole did all that God required of her; that He is well-pleased with her. I do have a witness from the Spirit that Nicole will be raised with celestial glory in the First Resurrection, when Christ the Lord returns in His glory to rule and reign over this earth. Nicole's days were known to God, and her years were not numbered less. It was finished; her mortal mission was complete, and Nicole went home to Heaven on her own terms, just as she's always done everything.
The name Nicole means "victory of the people." I feel that Cathy was inspired by the Lord to give our daughter this name - it was prophetic. Nicole has touched and blessed the lives of many people, and in turn, many people have blessed Nicole's life. Our family has been blessed by the sacrifice and service rendered to us by so many. We are so grateful to all of you who have prayed earnestly to God in our behalf, and who have been His hands in ministering to our family.
For the last several weeks of Nicole's mortal life, the only movie she wanted to watch was "The Incredibles." It was strange because Nicole loves music, loves the Disney princess movies, like "Tangled" and "Frozen" and "Sofia the First," but there's no singing in "The Incredibles." Cathy figured it out first, and made me puzzle it out on my own. "The Incredibles" is about a family of "supers" - humans with special powers - who work together to meet and overcome the challenges that face their family. It is all about family. The movie is about family. Pre-mortality is about family. Mortality is about family. Eternity is about family. I know that "the family is ordained of God." I know "that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children." (see https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation). In "The Incredibles," the there is also a "super" named "Frozone" who is a friend to the family, always there, always ready to assist his friends, just as our family has been supported through our trials.
As I wrote in the third post on this blog, "I know that Heavenly Father loves Nicole even more than I do, and I know He is watching over her. I know that if it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver Nicole from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver her. But if not, be it known that we will still serve God and accept His will in all things (see Daniel 3:17-18)."
By the grace of God, as my daughter, Kersten, wrote on her blog, Nicole truly "has fought the good fight, [she] has finished [her] course, [she] has kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7). It is God's victory, and it is Nicole's victory, but it is also a victory of the people. Thank you all.
 |
| Thank you, brave Nicole. We miss you deeply, little princess. We know that you are watching over our family now, and we look forward with great anticipation to the morning of the First Resurrection, when, through the atoning power of Christ the Lord, we shall embrace again in the flesh, "and that same sociality which [existed] among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy." (D&C 130:2) |
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Nicole Kay Peterson: The Girl Who Lived
On October 27, 2014, Nicole Kay Peterson reached the summit of her mortal journey, took God's outstretched hand, and stood triumphant with Him over all her foes. Born July 18, 2011, in just three years and three months, Nicole has touched many hearts with her wise eyes and her fierce determination to rise above her mortal afflictions. Nicole was happy in every circumstance; even leukemia could not defeat her radiant spirit. Nicole's life on earth, though brief, has brought unspeakable joy to her family, and has blessed the lives of all who know her. Nicole is the girl who always had one foot on earth and one foot in Heaven; she is The Girl Who Lived. We miss you, little princess, and look forward to the coming day when we shall embrace again.
Nicole was preceded in death by her grandparents, Kay Roberts Peterson, JoAnn Peterson, Robert S. Jones, Elisabeth Jones. She is survived by her parents, James and Cathy, her older brother, Jake, and her five older sisters, Kersten, Rachel, Ana, Michelle, and Laura.
Funeral services will be held on Saturday, November 1, 2014, at 11:00 A.M. in the Hyrum LDS 14th ward church, 176 South 1300 East, Hyrum, Utah. Friends may call at the Nelson Funeral Home, 162 East, 400 North, Logan, Utah, on Friday evening from 6-8 P.M. and again at the Hyrum LDS 14th ward church on Saturday morning from 9:30-10:30 A.M. Burial will be in the Manti, Utah City Cemetery at 4:00 P.M.
Funeral services will be held on Saturday, November 1, 2014, at 11:00 A.M. in the Hyrum LDS 14th ward church, 176 South 1300 East, Hyrum, Utah. Friends may call at the Nelson Funeral Home, 162 East, 400 North, Logan, Utah, on Friday evening from 6-8 P.M. and again at the Hyrum LDS 14th ward church on Saturday morning from 9:30-10:30 A.M. Burial will be in the Manti, Utah City Cemetery at 4:00 P.M.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Striving For The Summit
As I indicated in my previous post, despite the important victory on Friday, Nicole still has a very hard battle ahead of her. When they took Nicole off the ventilator on Friday, they originally put her on CPAP, but within about 12 hours, she needed more support, and they put her on BiPAP. The BiPAP settings are about as high as they can go, so the only alternative from here would be back to the ventilator. We have instructed doctors that we will not intubate her again. We have also instructed them not to intervene in the event of cardiac arrest. The doctors feel her heart is doing ok, but Nicole remains in a hard place, and the long battle is exhausting her. The doctors don't have a good explanation for her current respiratory challenge. They have been weaning the Milrinone (heart medicine), and plan to see how her heart looks again on Tuesday. They are increasing the steroid which they had previously tapered since Friday, in hopes that her respiratory issues are GVHD related.
The truth is, today has been a very difficult day. I have written about it, but Cathy and I cannot share it at this time - later perhaps, but not now; it is just too close, too raw right now.
We have travelled the path with Nicole long enough that we have learned that climbing out from the bottom of the low valley back up to the mountain peak is difficult, and the path takes many twists and turns along the way. Sometimes much of the elevation that was just gained is immediately lost for a time as we press forward and follow the path to the summit.
Our journey through mortality is physically, emotionally, and spiritually taxing, and in order to reach the summit, we must stop from time to time to catch our breath, take nourishment, and drink deeply from the Fountain of Living Water. The Lord also invites us to pause from time to time and look upon the beautiful vistas that surround us, and to take pleasure as we look back on the path we have travelled to get to where we are. He also invites us to look forward with an eye of faith to the ever more expansive views that lay ahead of us as we continue our upward climb. "...as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9). True joy and lasting happiness are gifts from God. Happiness comes from within, not from external things. Real happiness comes to us as we strive to "live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God" (see Matthew 4:4, Doctrine and Covenants 84:45), and in no other way.
Elder Richard G. Scott, a man who is familiar with affliction, familiar with loss, said, "Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself. I do not minimize how hard some of these events are. They can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining center of everything you do. The Lord inspired Lehi to declare the fundamental truth, 'Men are, that they might have joy.'” (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/04/finding-joy-in-life?lang=eng)
We have been strengthened often by the Spirit of God since Nicole was first diagnosed with leukemia; and there have many times when that Divine presence has been strongly felt in her hospital room. However, last weekend, the Spirit of God rested so powerfully upon Nicole's hospital room that for a time it was transformed into a temple, and all who entered stood on sacred ground. There are feelings in my heart that I cannot express - the words just aren't there. I know that this is true of Cathy as well, even more so than for me, I think - who can plumb the depths of a mother's heart? I pray that God will etch these feelings so deeply upon our hearts and minds that they will remain "present" with us, undimmed as time passes on.
I know that our Heavenly Father is mindful of Nicole, and that He loves her with a love far greater than I can understand. That knowledge, borne of the Holy Ghost, sustains me through the present sorrow of our daughter's suffering.
The truth is, today has been a very difficult day. I have written about it, but Cathy and I cannot share it at this time - later perhaps, but not now; it is just too close, too raw right now.
We have travelled the path with Nicole long enough that we have learned that climbing out from the bottom of the low valley back up to the mountain peak is difficult, and the path takes many twists and turns along the way. Sometimes much of the elevation that was just gained is immediately lost for a time as we press forward and follow the path to the summit.
Our journey through mortality is physically, emotionally, and spiritually taxing, and in order to reach the summit, we must stop from time to time to catch our breath, take nourishment, and drink deeply from the Fountain of Living Water. The Lord also invites us to pause from time to time and look upon the beautiful vistas that surround us, and to take pleasure as we look back on the path we have travelled to get to where we are. He also invites us to look forward with an eye of faith to the ever more expansive views that lay ahead of us as we continue our upward climb. "...as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9). True joy and lasting happiness are gifts from God. Happiness comes from within, not from external things. Real happiness comes to us as we strive to "live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God" (see Matthew 4:4, Doctrine and Covenants 84:45), and in no other way.
Elder Richard G. Scott, a man who is familiar with affliction, familiar with loss, said, "Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself. I do not minimize how hard some of these events are. They can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining center of everything you do. The Lord inspired Lehi to declare the fundamental truth, 'Men are, that they might have joy.'” (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/04/finding-joy-in-life?lang=eng)
We have been strengthened often by the Spirit of God since Nicole was first diagnosed with leukemia; and there have many times when that Divine presence has been strongly felt in her hospital room. However, last weekend, the Spirit of God rested so powerfully upon Nicole's hospital room that for a time it was transformed into a temple, and all who entered stood on sacred ground. There are feelings in my heart that I cannot express - the words just aren't there. I know that this is true of Cathy as well, even more so than for me, I think - who can plumb the depths of a mother's heart? I pray that God will etch these feelings so deeply upon our hearts and minds that they will remain "present" with us, undimmed as time passes on.
I know that our Heavenly Father is mindful of Nicole, and that He loves her with a love far greater than I can understand. That knowledge, borne of the Holy Ghost, sustains me through the present sorrow of our daughter's suffering.
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