Refiner's Fire

Nicole is doing really well.  She is full of energy and loving life. 

Today I took Nicole out for a drive toward the Great Salt Lake.  As I was driving my mind was thinking about the past three years with Nicole.  It's been full of so many up and downs.  She has truly been a miracle.  To watch her overcome so many times where we didn't know if she would make it or not.  To be able to watch her play, laugh, and yes have a tantrum. There are no words to describe these experiences.

I thought about my other kids and how much they have missed out because of Nicole battling cancer.  We haven't been able to do much as a family.  Going out to eat, going to a movie or even attending church as a family hasn't happened much.  We've needed to keep Nicole away from crowds as much as possible.  Our children have handled it well, without complaint.  I know they are getting tired of this journey as much as James, Nicole and I are. 

Our family still has a long journey ahead of us. It's still two months before Nicole will be able to go home to Hyrum.  And, according to the doctors, it will probably be another 18 months before Nicole can be around large crowds. 

Just like the pioneers I know our family will also be able to stand, and be grateful for this journey.

"Some years ago President David O. McKay (1873–1970) told of the experience of some of those in the Martin handcart company. Many of these early converts had emigrated from Europe and were too poor to buy oxen or horses and a wagon. They were forced by their poverty to pull handcarts containing all of their belongings across the plains by their own brute strength. President McKay related an occurrence which took place some years after the heroic exodus:

“A teacher, conducting a class, said it was unwise ever to attempt, even to permit them [the Martin handcart company] to come across the plains under such conditions.”

Then President McKay quoted an observer who was present in that class: “Some sharp criticism of the Church and its leaders was being indulged in for permitting any company of converts to venture across the plains with no more supplies or protection than a handcart caravan afforded.

“An old man in the corner … sat silent and listened as long as he could stand it, then he arose and said things that no person who heard him will ever forget. His face was white with emotion, yet he spoke calmly, deliberately, but with great earnestness and sincerity.

“In substance [he] said, ‘I ask you to stop this criticism. You are discussing a matter you know nothing about. Cold historic facts mean nothing here, for they give no proper interpretation of the questions involved. Mistake to send the Handcart Company out so late in the season? Yes. But I was in that company and my wife was in it and Sister Nellie Unthank whom you have cited was there, too. We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism? …

“‘I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give up, for I cannot pull the load through it.’”

He continues: “‘I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there.

“‘Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.’” ^{1 (https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/02/refined-in-our-trials?lang=eng)}

We are still in our journey but I know that my family will look back and also say "The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay".  All of us will have our refiner's fires. Each of us will pay a price to become acquainted with God.  He will tailor that journey to suit each individual personally.  He loves each one of us.  He doesn't leave us!!


Just a little bath time:)

Time for a little coloring