Nicole is home from the hospital for the weekend. She started this week with a lumbar puncture (chemo in her spine) then she received chemo for 36 hours straight through her central line. To end this week she received one more chemo on Wednesday. We needed to wait for the 36 hour chemo to clear her urine. It cleared when it should have and we should have been heading home. (I could sound official and use the big words for each Chemo Nicole receives but I can't spell them;)) Nicole being Nicole got a fever on Wednesday night. She only has a common cold; since the staff at primaries likes to be formal they tell us she has rhinovirus. I know rhinovirus sounds intense. It is intense for someone who has no immunity to fight off the average everyday cold. Nicole has been pretty miserable. They keep her for one more night just for observation.
Nicole will be admitting again on Monday, if her counts are high enough, for another 5 day at primaries. She will receive two more chemo's. If all goes well then for the next three weeks we will be going back and forth to clinic for labs and transfusion.
I don't know the plan for block three, yet. Hopefully we know more on Monday what the plan is and what the plan is for her bone marrow transplant.
I haven't posted pictures because one of Nicole eye is droppy. It is a side effect from one of the chemo she received. Sometimes I wonder if I should post a picture so we can see what chemo does to our kids. But I don't have the heart today.
About 16ish years ago a friend gave me this poem when our washing machine was giving us grief. I told my friend that we just keep praying that it will hold on for a while longer. I think of this poem often while I am "hiding" in the laundry room at primaries.
While I am at primaries the laundry room is an "escape" for a few minutes from Nicole's little room. In the laundry room I can be the only parent there. When I am the only parent there I will usually just sit in one of the chairs and just ponder for a minute. Other times I will met another cancer mom, grandma or dad. Sometimes we just give each other a look of "I understand or We can do hard things". Sometimes we visit for a while about our child or the day we are having. I have met some of the most amazing, strong people in the laundry room. I have strengthened my testimony through them. Whether it's a mom who's child gets to ring the bell and go home (with hope he/she won't relapse) or a parent who will take their child home to go "home". Sometimes I meet a grandparent who is trying so hard to support their grown child and grandchild who is fighting cancer.
I may not be kneeling in the laundry room but I have found that the laundry room is my sacred place.
My Sacred Place
By Ranae Pearson
I have my own
Sacred Place.
I’ve found it
While kneeling here,
Alone,
In the basement.
I would have liked
Lush green grass
Beneath my knees,
And
I would have loved
To have heard
Birds singing
Instead
Of the constant
Rumblings of
The old freezer.
But
Somehow the Spirit
Didn’t seem to care
Whether I was kneeling
Near cement walls or
Quaking aspen trees.
I needed
Spiritual guidance.
I needed answers …
And I received them,
Right here,
Across the room from
The canned fruit,
Near the washing machine.
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