Getting started

{Written by my Mom, Cathy}

I don't know even know where to begin.  James did a great job at explaining our journey; but, I don't know how to explain how things are going.  We kept Nicole private during her first journey with her cancer.  I am not sure how well I will be at sharing her relapse.  So much of our experience isn't secret it's sacred to us. 

Nicole first 8 days of treatment have been uneventful.  She mostly just watches the Little Mermaid and on occasion another Disney movie.  She loves to play with puzzles.

She loves to drive the little cars they have for the children to play with.  We walk up down the halls driving this little cars. She loves to wave and say hi as we drive by the nurses.  She also got to drive the car down to the RTU (Rapid Treatment Unit).  That is where she gets an LP (it's where they go into her spine to give her Chemo in the spine).   With an LP they need to sedate her so she will lay still for them to do this. 

Nicole cousin Erin gave her a little Kermit frog that is always with her.  Kermit also needs to wear a mask if he leaves the to go for a ride in the car or play in the play room.

Eating as become a struggle for Nicole again.  The chemo isn't helping.  The Drs and the nurses keep telling me that with steroids it should increase her appetite.  For Nicole she has had such struggle with eating since her last go around with cancer.  Food has become a power struggle with her or something she can control.  However Kermit tries almost everything before she does.  I guess you call Kermit Nicole food taster:)

As hard as it is to back in ISC (or the cancer unit) at primaries.  We have loved visiting with the nurses and staff there.  They are like family to us.  I know that they love Nicole and their hearts are as broken as ours that she has relapsed.  Last night while in the playroom her life flight nurse was in the unit and stopped at played and visited with her.  They see so many patience but Nicole in her short life as touched so many people. As we went to the RTU today for her LP the nurses there all had tears in their eyes as they came to say hi to their little Nicole who isn't so little anymore.  I know that the Lord watches over us.  I know that the nurses at Primary Children have a special gift.  One of my favorite scriptures Matthew 10:42 "And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward." The nurses do more then give a drink of cold water to us.  They are our listening ears, they laugh and cry with us.  The encourage and love us. 

Here in Hyrum our ward family has also been a strength to us.  Here we go again with cancer and they are right there building and strengthening our family.  When David went to fight his Goliath, he also had an army behind him ready to fight.  Our ward family is part of that army.

We also have dear friends who we know are supporting us and sending many prayers for our Nicole and for us.  They also want to help us in anyway that they can.  Both James and I have been blessed with good friends throughout our lives.

Then there is family.  There are no words to express the love and support that family is.  My sisters always say that it takes all 5 of us to do what our mom did.  I often think how proud mom would be of us at they way we watch out and support one another.  I know that I just have to say a word and someone from our family would be there and do what we need help for.  James' family is also doing what they can.  We feel the strength from their prayers.  We know that our parents are on the other side doing all they can for Nicole.  It's nice to know that Nicole has her grandparents in the room when we can't be there for her procedures. 

 My children are standing tall and going to work.  They know what is needed at they are willing to give and sacrifice for their little sister.  It's amazing to watch family in action.

I'm trying to following sister Hinckley's counsel  “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.” (Ensign October 2003)  This is heartbreaking news to our family and so many others around us.  But I know that the Lord is in the details of our lives.    He loves little Nicole.  John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you". Just like Mormon wrote to his son Moroni is true for each one of us. Moroni 8:2

"My beloved son, Moroni, I rejoice exceedingly that your Lord Jesus Christ hath been mindful of you..." I know that the Lord is mindful of our family and also for the army who is supporting us. 

Thank you!!