Matters of the Heart

Nicole is still in PICU.  They have been slowly been weaning her high flow oxygen.  She is happy to no longer have to wear the CPAP mask :)  They are not really sure what is going on.  Her lungs look liked she had Pneumonia yesterday.  However, today they are saying her lungs issues could be related to her heart.  When they did her echo yesterday they found her heart is working harder then it needs to be.  They put her on a heart medicine and that is working.  The cardiology doctor wants to do some more testing before they give us more solid answers.  At this point they feel that the chemotherapy she has received  has weakened her heart.  Then adding in the virus and infections over the past few weeks has brought the problem to light.  They are not sure of the path that they want to travel, and what effects this will have long term.  We need to do more testing.

Today been a pretty quiet day for Nicole.  She did get a visit from music therapy.  Nicole loves them.  Music calms Nicole and lifts her spirits.  I am always grateful when I see them come to Nicole's door.  They can usually bring a smile to Nicole, however, today they were only able to calm her spirit with music.  When she saw her today she just started to cry.  It was almost like she was telling the therapist how she was really feeling.  The therapist just keep playing her guitar and singing Rainbow Connection (which her dad often sings to her).  Nicole's tears changed from being mad to just letting the tears roll down her face.  I felt like she was just saying "I am tired and weary.  Can it all just stop." I am so grateful for the little things the staff and volunteers do for Nicole and our family.

Today my thoughts have turned to two talks; the first one is by Elder Wirthlin, "Press On":
"I testify that in the eternities, as we look back upon our little span of existence here on this earth, we will lift our voices and rejoice that, in spite of the difficulties we encountered, we had the wisdom, the faith, and the courage to endure and press on."  (https://www.lds.org/ensign/2004/11/press-on?lang=eng)  The Lord expects us to press on.  That leads me to my second talk by Elder Oaks, "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ"  "Here we see the Savior’s absolute faith and trust in the Father. “Nevertheless,” he said, “not my will, but thine be done.” The Father’s answer was to deny the plea of his Only Begotten Son. The Atonement had to be worked out by that lamb without blemish. But though the Son’s request was denied, his prayer was answered. The scripture records: “And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him” (JST, Luke 22:43)." (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1994/04/faith-in-the-lord-jesus-christ?lang=eng)  The Lord does expect us to press on, to do His will, but He will strengthen us.  In Moroni 7:33 we are taught:  "And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me."

Still not super happy.  But No CPAP mask:)

 

Nicole would let me take a picture of her new monkey hugging Kermie but she refused to look at the camera.