I Will Lead You Along - Thankful For All Things

Today (Thursday, 10/23), Nicole remains in critical but stable condition.  Her appearance is much improved compared to last weekend, and there are small but continued signs of progress.  There are still many challenges to overcome, but today it seemed like the doctors are pleased with the direction things are going, and seem cautiously optimistic that Nicole can survive her current struggle.  We pray that the Lord will continue to strengthen her, both body and spirit.

Since Nicole's intubation on Sunday, her respiratory function has steadily improved, and the doctors don't seem to be concerned about it right now.  There has even been some talk about taking her off the ventilator "soon," which we've learned could mean just about anything, but it is encouraging.  Her fevering has also subsided, and she is holding onto her platelets better.  She did get a transfusion today right before surgery as a precaution, even though they were at 30.  This evening, her platelets were at 176!

So far, Nicole's kidneys are tolerating the Foscarnet that they're using to fight the HHV-6; they've dialed-back other meds to help with the load on the kidneys.

They did another stress test on Nicole's heart; normal is 0 to 10, and Nicole's is currently 1300, which is obviously terrible, but considering that it was 5000 on Saturday night, the positive trend is definitely good.  Heart rate is still mostly in the 150s, while 120s would be ideal.  They plan to do a heart echo tomorrow and see how things look.

Nicole's blood pressure remains high, in the 120/90 range, and even higher after her surgery today.  Ideally, they'd like to see 90/55.  Yesterday they started giving her a medication that will dilate her blood vessels and thus lower blood pressure, and they're slowly increasing the dosage, but they are still very puzzled about why it is so high.

As I mentioned before, access for medicine has been a challenge because Nicole's veins have been so abused over the last three years, and the IVs they manage to place don't typically last too long.  Today, the Surgical Team felt like she was stable enough to handle surgery for a new Broviac (central) line placement, but she has had so many that these are now tricky to place also.  They did ultrasound before the surgery to look for the best possible option, and the surgery was successful - no complications.  This is Nicole's seventh central line.


A few hours before surgery.

Nicole was very awake for a little while prior to her surgery this afternoon, she managed to half-open both of her eyes several times, and shook her head to most of our questions, though she did want us to put a movie in, even though she can really only listen, not watch.  She has not wanted her Kermie anywhere near her since last Friday, which has been at least as hard on us as it has on poor Kermit, and she still doesn't want him (notwithstanding the pictures Kersten took with Nicole and Kermit together the last few days).  I think that Nicole would like very much for us to hold and snuggle her, and we would like nothing more than to do so, but it isn't possible as long as she is on the ventilator.  Being in this condition is hard on Nicole's spirit, and hard on her parent's spirits too.

I have been thinking of how blessed we have been as a family, how good God is, how good He has been to us.  So many of these blessings have been embedded in the challenges and afflictions that Nicole has endured these past three years, and we aren't always able to recognize them "in the moment."  Cathy has had similar thoughts, and reminded me of the following scripture: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you; And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours. And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more." (Doctrine and Covenants 78:17-19).

We are to receive "all things" with thankfulness.  All things.  Even the hard things.  As hard as it has been to walk this journey with Nicole, I thank my Heavenly Father for allowing us to do so.  I wouldn't have wished this path for Nicole, but it is a sacred privilege to be able to walk it with her.  Our family is learning things that we could learn in no other way - this journey is changing us, shaping us.  I know that God prepares a way, prepares blessings for each one of His children here in mortality; He has certainly done so for the Peterson family, and He is leading us along, one step at a time.