Little Hill to climb

We are home from Primaries.  We only stayed over night for observation.  They don't know why her heart rate is elevated.  They have some ideas but they are only speculative. 

The rhinovirus (common cold) and the strep viridans (her line infection) is just beating her up.  Nicole still has no Neutrophil to help fight the infection.  She will go back onto IV fluids at night to help keep her hydrated.  She will continue with neupogen shots once a day, IV antibiotics, plus the basic medication she needs. 

We are excited to have us all home to participate in the "Nicole color me orange fun run" this Saturday.  We are overwhelmed with the support and effort that has gone into this event.  I have no to express our emotions.  Hopefully, one day I will have them. 

I so appreciate people willingness to drop things in their own lives to come to our rescue.  Over the course of this small hill we needed to climb I have thought of the words of Lucy Mack Smith:  “We must cherish one another, watch over one another, comfort one another and gain instruction that we may all sit down in heaven together.”    ^_ Relief Society Minutes, Mar. 24, 1842, Archives of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 18–19. 

This counsel is just as true today as in 1842.  How grateful I am for Relief Society organization.  I know people who think they know me might be surprised because I love being with the children in primary.  I know Relief Society is an inspired organization.  It isn't just for the sisters who sit in class on Sunday it is for each sister who is a member of the church no matter where they may be serving. 

Nicole waiting to go home

Nicole riding in the wagon to go home.

ticket to primaries

Nicole had an ok weekend.  Still not super happy.  Last night when I brushed her teeth her gums just bleed for a long time. It was a rough couple of hours to try to get it to stop.  I knew that when we went to clinic today that she would need platelets.

Nicole had clinic today.  All morning I had a feeling that I should pack an overnight bag but kept saying positive thoughts, that I am just overly worried.  Well I was wrong.  We got to clinic at 11:30 and they drew labs.  She did need platelets.  We were in clinic for about 5 hours.  Nicole's heart rate was high all through clinic.  We made our appointment for Thursday.  As we were buckling her up to head home they called James' cell phone to come back to clinic.  Dr. Raetz checked her and wants us to stay over at primaries for observation tonight.  

This world that we live in is always full of uncertainty and I should always be prepared for the worst. However, I guess lessons learn that I should heed the promptings of the spirit.  He will never lead you astray.  D&C 35:19 "...and it shall be given by the comforter, the holy Ghost, that knoweth all things."

pot-holes

We are finally home:) I was too optimistic to think we would get a three week break.

They replaced Nicole's central on Thursday.  The surgeon didn't have any trouble getting the line in.   Placing a 6th line is a little tricky; but, she said she got in on her first try.  What a blessing.

This week in the hospital was truly a learning experience for me.  Many thoughts and emotions.  At first we would be able to keep the line and be able to go home.  However, when they talked with the Bone Marrow Drs. they wanted the line pulled so Nicole would have a perfectly healthy line for her transplant.   In my gut I already knew this; I know a little how bone marrow doctors think. 

I have had a yo-yo week.  We had the "your keeping her central line" to "nope it needs to be pulled out".  Then we were told that Nicole would start radiation on May 1.   Then as I was leaving Primary children to come home I was told that she was starting radiation on Monday April 28.  Now they just called and said we are starting radiation on May 5th.  We were also told that she would have 5 days of radiation and now Nicole will have 11 days of very low radiation. (remember we are living a yo-yo life and this can change tomorrow:))

Monday was a rough day for me.  James is on a business trip my girls are in Hyrum flying on their own.  I just felt overwhelmed.  My thoughts turned to my childhood and how much I missed my "priesthood dad" How grateful I am for the neighborhood I grew up.  I felt my Heavenly Father love that He has for me.  I know that when Heavenly Father sent me here to mortality He said-you will be sent to a good home but the fullness of the gospel will not be there.  However, you will be blessed to live in a neighborhood who will love and teach you.  How grateful I am for that!! Elder Scott taught " Reach out to those living in adverse circumstances. Be a true friend. This kind of enduring friendship is like asphalt that fills the potholes of life and makes the journey smoother and more pleasant. It should not be a resource used to gain personal advantage but a treasure to be appreciated and shared. Welcome into your home others who need to be strengthened by such an experience."  My childhood neighbors still came/come to my rescue to fill in my "potholes"-Including their grandchildren;)

I am also grateful for the neighborhood my kids are growing up in.  So many in our neighborhood who are also filling in the "potholes" of our life.  “God does watch over us and does notice us, but it usually through someone else that he meets our needs.”
― Spencer W. Kimball

While I was at primaries this week I reviewed a talk by Elder Holland "Lessons from Liberty Jail".  I am no way near like the Prophet Joseph Smith; but how often do we turn to Doctrine and Covenants 121,122 and 123 when we going through hard times. "What a scriptural gift" (Elder Holland)  How often have we felt in a small portion like the Prophet did in Liberty Jail.  Elder Holland taught:
"remember these first two truths taught to Joseph in that prison-temple. First, God has not forgotten you, and second, the Savior has been where you have been, allowing Him to provide for your deliverance and your comfort."
This truth Joseph taught for us all in his "prison-temple"
http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=1798

I know this is a long post.  I truly had a "temple" learning experience week.  Too much to really share.  I testify that what the Lord taught the Prophet Joseph Smith in his "Prison-temple" is true.

This is how Nicole comes out of surgery.  Like Joseph Smith taught in D&C 123:17 "let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

sandpaper

Nicole is doing better. She is responding to the antibiotics; however, they are still going to remove her line.  She will go to Or tomorrow (April 22) to have it removed. She needs to have 72 hours of clear blood cultures before they will put another line in.

The bone marrow team wants her central line to be perfectly healthy to reduce the risk of infection.  They also want to put another line in as soon as they can because she is on IV fluids and antibiotics.

This will be Nicole 6th central line.  The surgeon struggled putting in her last one because her veins are so beat up and there is a lot of scare tissues. I'm trying not to have to much anxiety about this:/


I found this quote today by Elder Maxwell:  "In life, the sandpaper of circumstance often smooths our crustiness and patiently polishes our rough edges. There is nothing pleasant about it, however.  And the Lord will go to great lengths in order teach us a particular lesson and to help us to overcome a particular weakness, especially if there is no other way." (Notwithstanding my weakness)

Today I have felt that sandpaper polishing me. But I also have felt the peace of knowing the Lord is in the details. Things will work out for the best for our Nicole:)